1. Log on - Make the wood stove hotter
   2. Log off - Don't add no more wood
   3. Monitor - Keep an eye on that wood stove
   4. Download - Getting the firewood off the truck
   5. Floppy disk - What you get from trying to carry too much firewood
    6. Ram - The thing that splits the firewood
    7. Hard Drive - Getting home in the winter
   8. Prompt - What the mail ain't in the winter
   9. Window - What to shut when it's cold outside
   10. Screen - What to shut in black fly season
   11. Byte - What the black flies do
   12. Bit - What the black flies did
    13. Mega Byte - What the BIG black flies do during trout season
    14. Chip - Munchies for TV
   15. Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you eat the chips
    16. Modem - What you did to the weeds growing in the driveway
    17. Dot matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife
    18. Lap top - Where the beer spills when you pass out
    19. Software - The dumb plastic knives and forks they give you at MacDonald's
    20. Hardware - Real stainless steel cutlery
    21. Mouse - What makes the holes in the Cheerios box
   22. Main frame - What holds the house up, hopefully
   23. Enter - The only way to win those magazine ad sweepstakes
    24. Web - What a spider makes
    25. Web site - High corners of the ceiling
    26. Cursor - Someone who swears
    27. Search Engine - What you do when the car dies
    28. Screen Saver - repair kit for the torn window screen
    29. Home Page - map you keep in your back pocket just in
             case you get lost in the woods
    30. Upgrade - Steep hill
   31. Server - waitress
   32. Mail Server - male waitress, damn few in Maine
    33. MS DOS - Some new disease they discovered
   34. Sound Card - One of them technological birthday cards
              that plays music when you open it
   35. User - The neighbor who keeps borrowing stuff
    36. Browser - A problem moose in the Garden or Blueberry Patch
    37. Network - Mending holes in the gillnet
    38. Internet - Complicated fish net repair method
    39. Netscape - What haddock do when you don't do your network
    40. Online - good sign there'll be clean clothes this week
    41. Off line - the clothes pins let go and the laundry
             falls on the ground-better luck next week

back to Jokes page